Authoritative Parenting

Parenting comes in four main varieties: uninvolved, permissive, dictatorial, and authoritative parenting (egalitarian). Uninvolved parenting, which in many ways isn’t really parenting at all, has a strong negative impact on children who often end up exhibiting issues with trust, feelings of rejection, and a generally low self-esteem.

The permissive, dictatorial, and authoritative varieties of parenting represent various degrees of parenting where the permissive and dictatorial approaches are two extremes and authoritative parenting lies somewhere in between. Permissive parents are generally very responsive toward their children, but offer very little structure. Authoritarian parents provide a high degree of structure for their children, but a low level of responsiveness. These two extreme varieties are just different approaches to parenting, and neither can be judged as better (or worse) than the other. However, authoritative parenting attempts to take the best qualities of these two methods and merge them into a better, more balanced approach.

Responsiveness

Parents who practice authoritative parenting are responsive to their children, showing them that their input is appreciated and valued and that their voices are heard. Responsive moms and dads are sensitive to the needs, problems, and emotional condition of their children. Authoritative parenting demonstrates the flexibility to occasionally bend the rules from time to time. A teen that arrives home late (one time) because of a friend she was riding with would not leave earlier might be pardoned. A school-aged child might be granted the occasional privilege of staying up late to watch a television special.

Structure

Authoritative parenting requires structure as well. Limits and rules must be clear and children must know what outcome they can expect if they are disobedient. Traditions, schedules, and regular routines all impart stability and give children a sense of security. Teens understand what the consequences are when they miss their curfews, and school-aged children understand when it is their bedtime in a household managed by authoritative parenting.

Decision-making

With authoritative parenting, decisions are mutually agreed upon. To a degree, children are given choices. While final decisions ultimately belong to the parents, input from the children is considered. Families which practice authoritative parenting operate as a team where each individuals needs are considered. The result is more balanced and less conflicted than the two more extreme parenting approaches. Children whose parents practice authoritative parenting may be able to bargain for a new curfew or bedtime.

Authoritative parenting is a balanced approach to parenting that provides both high responsiveness and high structure. Parents who practice authoritative parenting are both flexible and engaged, providing boundaries, limits and rules without being too rigid.

Authoritative parenting is a balanced approach to parenting, which produces children who generally have few problem behaviors or serious emotional problems. Children who operate well both functionally and socially.